Saturday, December 27, 2008

Studious Once More

Well, my job search out here has been far beyond disappointing, but Columbia's accepted me. Back to old Chicago, I go. I hope to hell the suburbs haven't softened me.
Wish me luck, imaginary throng of readers.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Viruses and Such

If ever a toolbar called Mirar installs itself on your browser, get some military-type antivirus immediately. My poor comp got it a few weeks ago, and only now have I finally restored the poor machine to her old self. Mirar attracts pop-ups that can circumvent the blocker, and opens the door for even more viruses.

I want to find a programmer and beat him to death as a scapegoat.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Reason I Like Cats

Around one forty in the a.m., I decided to go and fry up some burgers. I head downstairs and walk over to the fridge. Now, I like to think I have a good grasp of what footfalls sound like. On tile floor, it should fall somewhere between a click and a thud. About a foot away from the freezer door, wherein the meaty discs lay waiting, I put my foot down and hear a "squelch".

You'd think it would be easy to clean dog shit off a tile floor, but this little fucker must've been eating paste and elastic. What a wonderful thing to wake up to. Instead of a quarter pound of juicy beef, I spend ten minutes with rubber gloves and boiling water, trying to salvage one of my good shoes.

At least the dachshund had the common sense to avert his eyes. Shows that he had at least a twinge of remorse.

Heh, the main problem was that I could call him a son of a bitch, but it'd just be a fact, not an insult.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Oy

Fuckteenth day out in the suburban wasteland. I've run out of money, and my tobacco supplies are gone. The hospital never called back about my job, so I'm back to combing monster and careerbuilder. I even went looking at the park disrict website.
Desperate times, kids. Stay in school.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Gefilte Mockingbird

When you bike to a Dominick's at midnight to exchange coins for a cash voucher, you know you've made some mistakes. I needs me a job and I needs it now.

I oughta put on an Obama mask and run around holding a sign that says "change" in one hand and an empty cup in the other. I'll probably get lynched by all the Beaver Cleavers and Brady Bunches out here in Whitesville.

Vey iz mir....

Monday, November 17, 2008

November, you icy bitch....

The temp has gone from chilly to bitter. There isn't as much wind out here as there is in Chicago, but little Oswego's doing her best. Fortunately, I remember the old Russian magic that my father passed down to me, as was passed down to him. A russian man is not bothered by the cold, as long as he looks and acts miserable.

Na Strovia, kids. May your beards e'er be soaked in Vodka instead of vomit.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Compaq Presario

I'm currently rolling cigarettes to prepare for a two-mile walk to a currency exchange so I can cash a check of minimal value.

Keep on truckin', Nate.